the-vashta-nerada: when my older sister was in high school they had a really strict policy against note passing and if they caught a note they’d read it in front of class so my sister and her friends all learned tolkien elvish so if a teacher ever found their notes they wouldn’t be able to read it
murphels: uhg this illegal copy i downloaded is of shitty quality THIS IS NOT WHAT I DIDN’T PAY FOR
itseasytoremember: smilingemoticon: rneerkat: rneerkat: whats a librarians favorite color read at least the shelf liked ur joke
brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
crapuccinos: i am like a hexagon all my hecks r gone
just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
a-sexy-cat: actually taking time to do your hair and making it all nice then walking outside and
iamonlydorb: sucysucyfivedolla: the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg oh no I’m not falling for this one again
i am ugly and i have a bad personality what a winning combination
the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: the-adequate-gatsby: My sister keeps asking me if I want to go see The Great Cosby with her and I don’t have it in my heart to correct her.
getoffmybloghoe: dont give me responsibilities when theres a computer near by
jaclcfrost: avatargrimes: jaclcfrost: chiptunehero: jaclcfrost: no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother peter pot peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan and this is probably why no one talks about him peter pot is so high, he neverlands. and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust
woah bummer for everyone not making out with me right now
rabioheab: william shakespeare hasn’t come out with a new play in a while did he retire or something
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
lunnasphere: stop unfollowing me i have a family to support and cocaine to buy
200 things to put in my ask. Here's your chance to...
200: My crush's name is:
199: I was born in:
198: I am really:
197: My cellphone company is:
196: My eye color is:
195: My shoe size is:
194: My ring size is:
193: My height is:
192: I am allergic to:
191: My 1st car was:
190: My 1st job was:
189: Last book you read:
188: My bed is:
187: My pet:
186: My best friend:
185: My favorite shampoo is:
184: Xbox or ps3:
183: Piggy banks are:
182: In my pockets:
181: On my calendar:
180: Marriage is:
179: Spongebob can:
178: My mom:
177: The last three songs I bought were?
176: Last YouTube video watched:
175: How many cousins do you have?
174: Do you have any siblings?
173: Are your parents divorced?
172: Are you taller than your mom?
171: Do you play an instrument?
170: What did you do yesterday?
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight:
160: Soul mates:
158: Gay Marriage:
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses:
153: Drunk or High:
152: Phone or Online:
151: Red heads or Black haired:
150: Blondes or Brunettes:
149: Hot or cold:
148: Summer or winter:
147: Autumn or Spring:
146: Chocolate or vanilla:
145: Night or Day:
144: Oranges or Apples:
143: Curly or Straight hair:
142: McDonalds or Burger King:
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:
140: Mac or PC:
139: Flip flops or high heals:
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:
137: Coke or Pepsi:
136: Hillary or Obama:
135: Burried or cremated:
134: Singing or Dancing:
133: Coach or Chanel:
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:
131: Small town or Big city:
130: Wal-Mart or Target:
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:
128: Manicure or Pedicure:
127: East Coast or West Coast:
126: Your Birthday or Christmas:
125: Chocolate or Flowers:
124: Disney or Six Flags:
123: Yankees or Red Sox:
[ Here's What I Think About ]
121: George Bush:
120: Gay Marriage:
119: The presidential election:
116: Reality TV:
114: Back stabbers:
110: My Neighbors:
109: Gas Prices:
108: Designer Clothes:
105: My family:
104: The future:
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone:
102: Last time you ate:
101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile:
100: Cried in front of someone:
99: Went to a movie theater:
98: Took a vacation:
97: Swam in a pool:
96: Changed a diaper:
95: Got my nails done:
94: Went to a wedding:
93: Broke a bone:
92: Got a peircing:
91: Broke the law:
90: Texted: hour ago
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most:
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:
87: The last movie I saw:
86: The thing that I'm looking forward to the most:
85: The thing im not looking forward to:
84: People call me:
83: The most difficult thing to do is:
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:
81: My zodiac sign is:
80: The first person i talked to today was:
79: First time you had a crush:
78: The one person who i can't hide things from:
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:
76: Right now I am talking to:
75: What are you going to do when you grow up:
74: I have/will get a job:
71: Next Summer:
70: Next Weekend:
69: I have these pets:
68: The worst sound in the world:
67: The person that makes me cry the most is:
66: People that make you happy:
65: Last time I cried:
64: My friends are:
63: My computer is:
62: My School:
61: My Car:
60: I lose all respect for people who:
59: The movie I cried at was:
58: Your hair color is:
57: TV shows you watch:
56: Favorite web site:
55: Your dream vacation:
54: The worst pain I was ever in was:
53: How do you like your steak cooked:
52: My room is:
51: My favorite celebrity is:
50: Where would you like to be:
49: Do you want children:
48: Ever been in love:
47: Who's your best friend:
46: More guy friends or girl friends:
45: One thing that makes you feel great is:
44: One person that you wish you could see right now:
43: Do you have a 5 year plan:
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:
41: Have you pre-named your children:
40: Last person I got mad at:
39: I would like to move to:
38: I wish I was a professional:
[ My Favorites ]
34: State visited:
33: Cellphone provider:
27: Clothing store:
26: Grocery store:
25: TV show:
21: Theme park:
19: Sport to watch:
18: Sport to play:
15: Day of the week:
13: Concert attended:
12: Thing to cook:
9: Radio station:
8: Yankee candle scent:
4: Talk show host:
2: Dog breed:
1: Did you answer all these truthfully ?
HUGS NOT UGH'S
01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
04: what are you listening to?
05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
08: favorite song ?
09: kiss on the first date?
10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
13: what are three things you did today?
14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
15: what is your favorite kind of gum?
16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
17: what is on your wrists right now?
18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
23: how have you felt today?
24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
25: what is wrong with you right now?
26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?
29: how late did you stay up last night and why?
30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
31: what were you doing an hour ago?
32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
33: are you wearing jeans right now?
34: are you a patient person?
35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
36: favorite color?
37: did you have a dream last night?
38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
42: do you like meeting new people?
43: are you afraid of falling in love?
44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
Help distract me please people
cowboybeboop: viste: cowboybeboop: reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
silabus: do you ever just realize how bad your voice sounds
windexwaker: captain-jack-hardness: i hate black girls the sentence above is racist, but if you replace black girls with white girls you get a funny 1000+ note text post instead fuck, its finally time someone pointed this out
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.